When I was a kid, I looked forward to my birthday for months before and was always counting down the days. I knew that I would be getting birthday cards in the mail (a rare thing to get mail back when I was young), unwrapping birthday present surprises, getting a special dinner and blowing out candles on a birthday cake. It was fantastic every year.
In college, a birthday was really just an excuse to go out to eat with friends and take shots (ok, more shots than usual)...Since I lived across the country from my family, I usually received nice little packages from my mom and dad. Care packages in college made my whole month better.
Even in law school, birthdays have been pretty special. My birthday usually falls about a month before the end of classes, just early enough to actually take a study break with no one feeling guilty. Since we have been together, PJO has done little things each year to make the day memorable.
This year, everything just seems so different. Instead of taking shots with friends at midnight, I was waking up at 1:30am to feed the baby.
Instead of sleeping in, I got a call at 5:50am from the babysitter... she's sick and doesn't think she should come. Fine. I'm sick too. I get to stay home from school without feeling guilty because I couldn't do anything about the fact that I have no childcare!
Instead of sending me a present and calling on my birthday to sing happy birthday, my dad just mailed me a card and called yesterday... because he thought I would be busy today with school and doing work and the baby.
My mom would normally send me something, but she comes up so often to see Timmy, she's probably just going to bring it this weekend when she comes up for Easter.
Instead of getting dressed up for a special date with PJO, we'll probably order dinner in and go to bed early.
Lame, I know. But I wouldn't trade away my life now for my life in any previous year. All the things birthdays meant to me at different stages of my life were good and make great memories. I loved how special my family made me feel growing up, but now I get much more excited thinking about making great memories for Timmy to have about his birthdays and holidays. I'm still having a fabulous birthday, and I realized that's because I've changed ... even though I'm not bringing in cupcakes for my whole class to share, or eating cake with my parents and brothers, or drinking all night with friends, the people I love the most are still making me feel super special.
PJO made me a delicious pancake breakfast this morning before heading into work. As I sat there enjoying a leisurely and decadent breakfast on a Monday morning with my little family, about to spend all day giggling and playing with my baby, I thought that this is what life--my life--is all about.
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