Freedom to Be Unsure

I feel really uncomfortable being wrong. Almost worse is not even knowing what my opinion about something is. If I have a view on particular issue, there is comfort in being able to put forth arguments in support of it; when I don't know, I feel vulnerable and completely open to attack from everyone who does know what they think.
As someone who is very opinionated, the times where I honestly do not have an opinion or where I will admit I am wrong are few and far between. I usually embrace debate and discussions on controversial issues, especially when I can take a strong stance that allows for intense back-and-forth exchanges.

My Bioethics seminar is teaching me a lot about myself already. I signed up for the class because it fit in my schedule and did not have a final exam. Of course, I thought it would be interesting, but I had no idea HOW interesting. Yesterday we talked about who should make health care decisions. There was a case of a man who was on life support; he was an illegal immigrant with no health insurance who refused a do not resuscitate order. His quality of life was never going to improve, he would just be sustained. He would require 24-7 care from his family and professionals and very expensive treatment and equipment. The question posed in class was what parties should have input in this decision: The patient? The family members? The doctors? The health care and insurance companies? The government?
I couldn't articulate an answer. The more I thought about it, the more unsure I was.
Tomorrow we're looking at the case of conjoined twins. If they are not separated, they will both die, but a separation would kill the weaker one and the surviving twin would still require special care. Do the parents have the choice to do nothing? Should it be impacted by the doctors' opinion that they should be separated?
Later on in the semester, we look at abortion, ethical issues regarding medical research, euthanasia, and stem cell research. For once, I'm just excited to learn more and hear what other people say rather than have a forum to voice my convictions about what is the right view and the wrong view. I think this has to do with the professor. Last semester, I took a seminar called Law & Morality. The professor was an ultra-conservative evangelist who blatantly endorsed his views as the right ones. I found myself opposing him just to be contrarian because I find that completely obnoxious from a professor. My bioethics professor is totally neutral, but I know that she is liberal, which in a way lends her more credibility in my eyes.

It feels really good to be undecided and to allow myself to be swayed by the more persuasive arguments. I am already looking forward to tomorrow's class, which I did not think would happen this semester. (I mean, I thought the only thing I would be looking forward to this semester was graduation). I'm also kind of excited to pick a paper topic (it can be on any issue in bioethics) and research it. Being excited about even a single class makes it much easier to get motivated to go to school.