Bringing Out the Social Butterfly in Me

I've talked before about the way in which friend-time often gets pushed back to make room for everything else in my life. When I'm busy, it's easy to prioritize based on deadlines and immediate consequences, even when this jeopardizes the relationships that make me a happier person and make my life blissfully full.

I still have a to-do list full of deadlines and errands that have to be run every day, but for the first time, there is still plenty of time in my day even after getting those things done. There is no excuse any more for not meeting up with friends, planning lunch dates, play dates and dinner dates. It's not that I try to avoid hanging out with friends... I always have a great time and love seeing them. But I sometimes find it hard to stop obsessing over what I'm not getting done or the sleep I'm not getting when planning events.

In the past week, I have met up with my best friends, had dinner parties, met new friends at the playground and procured invitations to mommy groups. Hanging out with old friends reminds me of the great people in my life and why I love them. Meeting new friends is exciting and reminds me of how many great people are out there if I try to find them.

I've never bothered to join a mommy-and-me class and to be quite honest, the thought of sitting around in a circle of moms from west LA terrified me. I was also hesitant to let my group of friends reflect the fact that I'm a mom now and no longer a just-out-of-college-young-professional-newlywed-but-still-fun-twenty-something. Call it an identity crisis, but at 26 years old, I'm still not ready for the only social interaction I have to come from other parents at my kid's soccer games and PTA meetings.

Anyway, I've realized that I have lots of friends to go out with, do happy hour or dinner with, go shopping with or watch movies with. What I don't have many of are friends who understand what a big part of my life is about now. Very few of my friends have kids, and those that do have little else in common with me.

The place I just moved to is basically the master-planned suburbs of LA and it's teeming with young families. A woman who lives in my building started up a conversation today with me and invited me to join the mom's group of the community. She said there are over a 100 moms, but they divide it up by age and meet once a week in different parks in the area. There are field trips, events and discounted things like swimming lessons, etc... I'm very excited about meeting other moms and introducing Timmy to other babies.

I hope PJO is able to make new friends here and build a community too. Most of the people he has met since moving to California three years ago are either friends of mine or members of the athletic groups he joined. I think it's much less common for men to put themselves out there and meet new people, but maybe with football season starting up, he'll be able to find a game-watching buddy or two!

As PJO and I build our family life in this new community, my new goal is to always maintain my friendships, reach out to new friends and avoid closing myself off to the people around me. When I start working, this might involve loosening my grip over my to-do list and letting go of the OCD-ness a bit, but happily for now, I have time to do both! Now I just need to figure out whether to sign up for the working mom's group or the Stay-at-home mom's group!