My Friend-Making Style

I don't know about you all, but I have a definite style when it comes to making and keeping friends... I find it very easy to talk to people and "make friends" but I don't often make new good friends. I also find it hard to maintain friendships, maybe because my friends are scattered all across the country or maybe because I'm lazy.
The people I am good friends with are very good friends, people that I could talk to about anything and that I see all the time (or pick up right where we left off when I see them). It used to be that my other friends were facebook friends (not literally, but that kind of person, where you call each other friends, but wouldn't really pick up the phone and make plans with them on your own initiative). Part of the problem is that I am very picky about the people I will actually be close to, and I have a low tolerance for being "friends" with someone that I could never be good friends with. I am really independent in the sense that I would prefer to be by myself than with other people unless I truly enjoy hanging out with them. It was all or nothing when I met new people. There is a fine line between idiosyncratic and annoying to me, and I can handle the former but not the latter. This is how I ended up with friendships that were more like relationships with boyfriends... one person who I hung out with or talked to most of the time almost to the exclusion of anyone else.
Especially when I'm busy with stuff in my life (school or work) and I'm already fitting in family time, husband time and me time (and let's be honest, procrastinating/lazy time), it's easy to push friend time to the back burner. If I had to choose between going out with friends and sleeping, I would usually choose sleeping. I loved going out in college, but these days it seems more like a hassle sometimes than it's worth.
Since I moved to California, I've made an effort to make more friends and maintain those relationships. I'm not perfect now, but it's definitely more of a priority for me. I think having a wider group of friends keeps me more balanced and less dependent on one or two people. Keeping in touch with a variety of people helps my life feel more fulfilled. It's also nice to know that when something exciting happens or when I need to cry or complain to someone, I have more people to choose from than my mom or PJO to call.
Thursday night, I went to dinner with a group of girls that I summered with who go to law school locally. We're not super close by any means, but we got to know each other pretty well this summer, and we all have a lot in common. It was so great to get away from the normal gossip and personalities at my school, and chat with funny, smart and aware women. We watched the VP debate and had good political conversation, talked about working and about our personal lives and people we knew in common. Sometimes I feel like scheduling in time to catch up with certain friends is just something to get off of my to-do list, but I looked forward to this night for several weeks and enjoyed every minute of my time with them.
Friday I got lunch with my freshman year roommate from college and my maid of honor... We have fun together no matter what we're doing and we have plenty to talk about no matter how long it's been since we have seen each other. She's one of those people that knows me about as well as I know myself and can tell exactly what I'm thinking or feeling without asking me. It was one of the best lunch dates I've had in a long time.
I have my group of law school friends. My college friends. A few people I keep in touch with from childhood and high school. It's not that I prefer quantity over quality (far from it), but I have realized that I'm not as independent as I used to think I was. Even though I could live my life without needing a lot of friends, I don't want to live my life without them. I am happier and more well-rounded when I somehow squeeze in date nights, couples nights, girls nights and me nights.

I'm not exactly sure how this will all change when Uno comes along in a few months. Most of our friends don't have kids yet and I don't really want to start the PTA / Mommy-and-Me stage of my life yet... so we'll see how it all plays out. But for now I feel like I'm growing into the person I am meant to be and making the most of MY life instead of wanting to change parts of my life to make it what I wish it would be.


... if that makes any sense.