I might be the only one, but I found last night's episode of Jon and Kate plus 8 so depressing. Obviously any time a couple divorces, it is sad, but this for some reason just seemed even worse.
I can barely stand watching Kate do anything, especially speak. I'm sure she means well and doesn't intend to be a bitch, but she is the meanest, rudest woman. It's one thing to try and provide the best in the world for your kids, but it's a whole other story when you put your kids far above your marriage. She treats Jon (her husband) like one of her kids (no, worse than that...the disobedient kid) in front of her family and the world. She thinks there is only one right way, and it's always her way.
No one is perfect. Sometimes marriages don't work out and the parents have to make the best of it from there. Kate says she will act civilly with Jon so that she can see her kids on all the holidays, and in the show last night, you see them all go out to a family brunch for Mother's Day. But she completely disappeared for Father's Day and didn't care to be with everyone then. No matter what, it's all about her.
Coming from divorced parents, I actually agree that sometimes it is "better for the kids" for the parents to go their separate ways. Sure, it's awful to grow up in a home without both parents in a loving relationship. But I can't even imagine the toll on their psyche having parents who argue and treat each other like shit all the time. What kind of role model of marriage is that? And that sure as hell isn't a peaceful, nurturing environment to grow up in. I think there is something to be said for both parents being happy and that being a positive influence on the children.
My parents didn't make their marriage work. Sometimes I can sympathize with why they broke up. At least they remained friends and were both always present in my life and my brothers' lives. And they still taught us to honor the other parent. Each would give us money and help us do something nice for the other on Mother's or Father's Day. We could never play one off the other when we wanted something because they would consult with each other and make a united front. It wasn't perfect, but I really do think they tried their hardest to make the best of the situation once they did get divorced.
But just because you can make it work doesn't mean you should. It is certainly better if you can make the marriage work. Sometimes you just want to reach out into the TV and grab a hold of their shoulders, shake them and yell "what are you doing?!?! This little fight is stupid. Act like adults, you can make it work!!"
Besides the fact that I think it it is sad Jon and Kate are divorcing, I think she is a fucking idiot for doing it. How in the hell is anyone going to raise 8 kids on their own? I'm sure she will hire nannies and assistants, but at some point they will run out of money. I don't think a broken family making fools of themselves on national TV is TLC's thing. And she'll be so lonely. She has no friends because she's a bitch. She won't have a husband to boss around. She'll be lonely and bitter. That's just sad.
When they flash back to the first show they ever filmed, you see both parents happy, kids smiling and normal people on the screen. These days, they don't smile, they don't act like they have any affection for each other and they look like washed up D-list celebrities. It's so sad to see how quickly that transformation happened. I kind of understand why they did the show...it takes a lot of money to provide a decent lifestyle for that many people. But they clearly chose money over their family.
How many times have we seen a reality TV couple survive their own show? There you go, they chose it.
Take-home lesson: be nice to your spouse and act like you like them.
6 comments:
You know, I really loathed Kate, too, until last night. I admit that I watched it. I actually felt sort of sorry for her. I mean - she clearly tanked the marriage and isn't sure what went wrong. But John? Ugh - I wanted to kick him in the teeth. First off, I hate his new skeevy look with his nasty sideburns and earrings and "I'm only 32 years old and don't know what the future holds." I wanted to bellow, "You're 32 - not 16! Stop acting like a rebellious teenager!" I just thought he was obnoxious and it was lame that he said he feels proud of himself, now. Eww.
I agree with so much of what you said! My parents got divorced too, and sometimes it's just the best thing. But I think that the *better* thing is for parents to be in a healthy marriage.
Here's where I have an opinion on something I shouldn't :) I think a big problem is that they put the kids in front of their marriage, as you said. Of all the people I know who have very healthy families, it's because the relationship between husband and wife has been nurtured and they ground the strength of their relationship as parents in the foundation of their marriage. The kids see that, and it serves as a great example to them.
That said, I ain't got no husband and I ain't got no kids, so I guess I shouldn't preach :) It's really sad for them...and while I feel for both of them, it's the kids I feel for the most.
Someday, they're going to look back at this, and they are going to resent their parents like crazy. And that's sad.
Trannyhead, I totally agree about Jon. He looks like (and probably is) a total douchebag. He is clearly not handeling the whole situation any better than a 16 year old would. I just think Kate clearly pushed him to the breaking point and didn't realize that he would completely rebel against her. So while I hate how immature Jon is acting, I can at least see what provoked him. I can't understand how Kate became such a bitter, horrible person.
those two sleazebags haven't put their kids before anything in a long time. jon and kate put money above all else, including their children and their marriage.
he is an immature little boy and she is a class A bitch...have you SEEN the internet clip of one of the kids asking kate for water and kate getting a bottle of water from the staffers for HERSELF? the little girl (not sure which one) tells Kate that she's really mean for drinking the water right in front of the girl's face and not offering any. heinous bitch, i hope everyone stops watching the show so that the money and fame stop coming and maybe those kids can get back to a semi-normal life.
I have never watched that show and sure as hell wouldn't watch it now (not out of moral outrage over the divorce or anything, just because I refuse to support them making more money off their kids), but I totally agree with much of what you said (and what teasingly diverse said). The marriage has to come first - it was there before you had kids and it will be there after your kids leave the house. I truly believe one of the best gifts you can give your children is a warm, loving, stable home environment and sometimes you have to put your spouse above your kids in priority, even if your kids don't like it at the time. I clearly remember crying into the phone when my parents went on one of their yearly "honeymoons" but I was really quite fine at the time and I mostly certainly appreciate it now, after 35 years together they're still flirty and happy and just genuinely nice to each other.
JP and I have the philosophy that we brought Landon into a happy marriage and it's our responsibility to invest the time and effort to preserve it. And luckily with Landon's early bed time we don't have to give up much time with him to do it :)
Agreed. It was depressing and very uncomfortable to watch for so many reasons - their behavior, how this is affecting and will affect the kids, the fact that they're at once trying to resent the spotlight and commercialize on the end of their marriage - all awful. I wish that I hadn't watched it. Your take home message is right on.
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