On my way out

Anticlimactic is the only way to describe it. Tomorrow I'll officially be on maternity leave, which makes today my last day at the office. Ongoing matters have been handed off to other associates. Documents from closed matters have finally been shredded or sent to records. My desk is cleaned off and looks presentable (and untouched). Other than the pictures and business cards on my desk, you would never know the office is occupied.

I am so glad that I had time to get everything completely organized so that I won't have to worry about anything while I'm out. And now that it's quiet and clean, I am really looking forward to my next first day of work when I'll come back to a clean slate. I'm going to miss seeing coworkers and going to lunch. It will be weird to not have to check my blackberry at all times, but I definitely won't miss that.

Mostly, it's weird to be packing up and leaving work when I have no idea when I'll actually be having a baby. I'm not due for nearly three more weeks. Because this time pre-delivery doesn't impact my 18 weeks of maternity leave, I'm hoping to actually have much of these next three weeks baby-free. I don't know exactly what I'll do with myself during this time, but my basic plans include: spending more time with Timmy (and PJO at night), taking naps, reading books by the pool, watching movies, cooking actual meals (something I haven't done much of in months), finishing Timmy's baby book, packing a hospital bag and going for walks to celebrate not being chained to a desk.

It's so strange for me to be 37 weeks pregnant and not desperately wishing for the baby to be born. Part of it has to be the fact that I already have Timmy and know that it is much easier to take care of this baby while she's still on the inside. But I think part of it must be because I'm less uncomfortable. Timmy was so big and he didn't drop until about 5 hours after I was fully dilated, so everything was just terribly cramped and sore. This time I seem to be measuring much smaller and the baby is definitely lower. While I will never enjoy being pregnant and would certainly not consider myself "comfortable" right now, I am at the point where time with Timmy and a few more days of sleep sounds better than not being pregnant. Weird.