Summer Slow Down

Slow. Really slow. There isn't much for me to do at work right now. I've been told since I started that August tends to be slow in transactional practice areas and, from what I can tell, it's absolutely true. I have asked supervisors for more work but to no avail. If all goes according to plan, I have about 5 more weeks of work left before I go out on maternity leave. In theory, that is enough time for a (quick) deal, but so far I have only been able to pick up short-term projects that give me a few hours here and there. To be honest, I am not devastated to be leaving my computer in the office when I leave for the day or having my weekends mostly free, but I very much dislike being bored.

We have PJO's family in town, so at least Timmy has had some nice quality time with his grandparents, aunt and uncle and 4 cousins. He hung out at the beach all day yesterday with them since PJO took the day off work. PJO sent me this picture. Subject line read: "He is so your son." The message said "not sleeping, but relaxing and listening to the waves."




My sister-in-law also brought with her a bunch of baby girl clothes my nieces have long-since outgrown and my mother-in-law bought us a few new things too. Between that and the online shopping I suddenly have time for, I have managed to acquire a pretty substantial wardrobe for baby Airplane. And I have to say, I have long admired girl clothing, but I had no idea how much fun girl accessories are! I am not good at doing my own hair and makeup, much less accessorizing but I can't wait to try out different bows, hats, shoes and tights on my daughter.

Spitting Distance

Almost all of my remaining doctor appointments are booked. Officially there are 9 weeks to go until my due date, which means 6 more appointments. 6 more mornings of peeing in a cup, stepping on a scale and listening to a heartbeat before I head into work late. As much as I dislike having to re-arrange my schedule to drop Timmy off for daycare and still get an early-enough appointment to make it to work at a reasonable hour, I remember missing seeing my doctor after Timmy was born and I am pretty sure I'll miss it even more this time. I love them and love catching up with them.

Today I took the hospital pre-registration form with me to fill out. Looking at that, and remembering that I last saw it when I was touring the hospital before having Timmy, suddenly made baby Airplane's arrival seem very real and imminent. I'm not nervous at all about the physical delivery and I'm only slightly apprehensive about the logistics of arranging care for Timmy when I go into labor. What gives me occasional panic attacks is that we are not prepared to bring her home. There is still plenty of time, sure. But we don't have the corner of our room cleared out to put the bassinet in (much less a nursery). We haven't bought diapers or ...what else do you need for newborns, I forget! We have about 3 outfits she can wear, none of which have been washed (because there is nowhere to put them). We still have to buy a carseat and re-assemble the baby gear that is in storage.

Realistically, it will get done before she arrives and even if it doesn't, she will survive. But I like things to be planned and ready, well in advance. I actually arrive at the airport 2 hours before domestic flights and 3 hours before international flights. Cutting it close is not my thing.

So here we go. About 2 more months to prepare!

The Muh-ndays

Today I have a serious case of the Mondays. What started as a tickle in my throat Friday night became a full-fledged sinus infection Saturday afternoon, which morphed into debilitating congestion/weakness/chest pain on Sunday. My asthma manifests itself in my adult life by turning every cold I get into a bronchial infection or sinusitis. I also seem to suffer from pregnancy rhinitis, as I figured out last pregnancy, which could explain why this is my 4th sinus infection of this pregnancy.

Thus considering myself a sinus infection expert, I went to urgent care yesterday to get myself some antibiotics and nasal spray, bypassing the 2 or 3 days of misery where I try to get by with claritin, my inhaler and neti pot. The doctor agreed with my self-diagnosis (congested sinus cavity, ear infection left ear, inflamed throat, slight wheezing) and quickly gave me what I came for.

Somehow I managed to get through the 9 hours of work I had to do yesterday even though my computer kept trying to sabotage my efforts. I dragged myself into the office today even though I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed. There are 4 more work days until the weekend.

So, it's Monday. That's the bad news.

The good news is, I have been looking at baby items to personalize today because we actually decided on a name for baby Airplane! I never in a million years would have thought that we would pick one before the baby was born, but we decided on one this weekend. We still won't tell people the name until she's here, but I am going to buy something with her name on it so PJO can't back down and change his mind. She may come home from the hospital to no nursery or crib, but at least she'll have something frivolous with her name on it.

In High Demand

I'm not sure whether it's because he is suddenly very aware of the impending arrival of Baby Airplane (Timmy's affectionate nickname for his baby sister), because he just isn't getting enough time with me during the week or if it's "just a phase," but Timmy has been all about Mommy recently. Past the point of being cute, often I'm the only one he will let do anything for him. "No, Daddy!" has become his new catch phrase and he says it at bath time, bed time, dinner time and whenever I'm not holding him.

Suddenly, drop-off at daycare has become a struggle, with him clinging to me and whining that he wants to go back to Mommy's car. It's not always crying/whining either. Over the past two weeks, bedtime has stretched into a two and a half hour phenomenon. Some nights, he'll walk out of his bedroom 12 times after we leave, each time with a smile on his face, and each time asking to snuggle with either Mommy or Daddy. It would be easier to ignore his crying than to turn down his polite requests for snuggles or playing.

I vacillate between wanting to give him extra snuggles now to reassure him that I'm still very much here and present for him and wanting to break the Mommy-addiction before I actually am torn by the demands on my time.

90% of the time, he is the same sweet and funny boy as before. He loves to snuggle, and sing songs and tell jokes and read stories. He gives amazing hugs and kisses. He is turning into a full-fledged little boy that suddenly can count to 25, point out the continents on a map, put together real puzzles and ride a tricycle. I think he'll be a great big brother and I am pretty sure he'll actually be excited about the new baby when she's here. But for right now, I just feel a twinge of sadness that her arrival might stress him out or make him worry that I won't love him as much as I did before. I know that toddler feelings aren't always rational, but I'm not sure how to ease out of this transitional phase.

Because of ridiculous California laws (and my firm's policy to match my regular salary during "disability" time off pre-labor), I'm planning on going on maternity leave a few weeks before my due date. I have big plans for my time with Timmy for these last few weeks with him as my one and only. And I'm looking forward to maternity leave much more for the extra time with him than for the time with a newborn. When all is said and done, I'll have about 5 months off work to enjoy leisurely mornings and real family dinners. To pick him up early from school some days and go the duck park. To have family time on weekends uninterrupted by my blackberry.

At the same time that I feel the pressure from Timmy, Baby Airplane has her own set of demands on my attention. I'm already getting to the point where I'm just uncomfortable most of the time, and I still have two months to go! Rolling over to the other side in bed at night is more of a 3-part maneuver. Sitting for too long makes me feel cramped and stiff, standing for too long makes my back ache. Carrying my 35 pound toddler is just...owww. I find myself taking tums every day for heartburn and can feel her pounding against my hips, spreading them wider and making room for herself. A nasty looking varicose vein is appearing on my right thigh. Pregnancy is gross...I wish it were feasible to grow a baby in a petri dish.

I finally got around to taking a picture of the belly, to prove that I look so much bigger this time.

Me at 6 months last time:



Me at 6.5 months this time: