Today at our little playgroup, two more moms announced they are pregnant. This brings the grand total of moms in our group with only a single child to a whopping 1; Me. If you count the mom of triplets, everyone is on to round 2 besides me. I swear just yesterday I showed up to the park, sat down on our circle of blankets and watched everyone's babies learn to crawl and steal each others' teething toys. These days, though, our playgroups consist largely of mediating fights over the pink puppy or Tonka truck and saying "no hitting your friends." That, and oooohing and aaaaahing over the new little additions.
It's hard to explain, but I feel left behind. Our conversations about potty training, transitioning to toddler beds and pre-school are now punctuated with newborn sleep schedules and nursing. Any relevant commentary I might provide on those is based on very vague recollections at this point. On the days when I feel like complaining that Timmy won't take naps at home anymore, I don't because my problems are kind of trivial compared to those of the moms with a toddler AND a newborn. There are fewer and fewer friends to join me for a mom's night out to our local restaurant for wine or go work out with.
The thing is, I'm not quite ready to jump on that bandwagon. Well, I probably would if my circumstances were different, but I just can't. I don't think it is fair or wise to purposefully start my job pregnant. I also really want to give myself at least a few months of working before we decide to give up the relatively easy life of parents to one toddler. At the same time, I don't want the gap between Timmy and a second baby to be too large. We definitely want at least two kids and if we're going to all that trouble, it would be nice for them to at least be close enough in age to be friends.
So today, I'm finally feeling ready to think about baby #2, but am unable to do anything about it for awhile. Tomorrow, I will probably go back to marveling at how so few of my school/work friends have even thought of starting a family yet. Strange how the circles you run in can affect your perspective.
3 comments:
I am a frequent reader but rare commenter. I am in a similar situation. 2009 law school grad. Big Law job deferred. I started in Jan 2010 and my daughter was born in Sep 2008. We are just now trying for a second, hoping they will be ~3 yrs apart, although I would have loved to 2.5 yrs apart, but didn't feel that I should be pregnant that early on in this career. It's hard to wait once you feel ready! Good luck with starting work!
it will be the right time before you know it. or that's what i keep telling myself.
i'm one of those who has no kids but that's because i have no husband :) it's difficult to log on to facebook everyday and see all the baby updates let alone be left out because the moms think a non-mom wouldn't be interested in hanging out with her old friends--when i wish i could have a little one of my own.
i'd bet your friends with toddlers and newborns are envious of you sometimes too.
McWhorter Family - I always like reading the comments you write and I had no idea that our situations were so similar. Would you mind shooting me an email? Leo.Better.Together[at]gmail[dot]com
P2P - you're going to have a great selection of maternity clothes to borrow and brains to pick when the time does come for you to have a baby!
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