The working mom

Today is one of those days where it seems like everything has a deeper meaning or a message for me. I went to see I Don't Know How She Does It, not knowing what it was about and honestly expecting a light and fluffy romantic comedy. Normally, I would never subject myself to a Sarah Jessica Parker romantic comedy, but I really like the rest of the cast and I had nothing else to do today, so I went. Perhaps it is fairly obvious to the rest of you that it's actually about a working mother trying to "balance it all." I am still trying to decide if it was my very low expectations, the pregnancy hormones or actual quality, but I really liked the movie.

Mainly, I liked it because it was the closest anything mainstream has gotten to capturing how I feel about my life as a wife, mom and lawyer. And look, it certainly isn't a documentary, so don't expect it to be 100% accurate. It really didn't paint a fair picture of the average stay-at-home mom (although it did accurately represent some moms that I know and am friends with). It also didn't really portray the working mother fairly at all times. But it was familiar enough to make me think of my own life and laugh at the truth in some of the situations presented in the film.

I related to the main character even though I was sometimes annoyed at the exaggerations in how hectic her life was. It was a funny movie and I laughed out loud often. I wiped a few tears away at different points in the movie because yeah, it really is heart-wrenching when you can't be there for your family, no matter what the reason.

This wasn't a "thinking" movie, but I've found myself reflecting on it since it ended. A few take-aways:

* One of my favorite lines - "I love being the mom to a 2 year old. It's like being a famous movie star in a world without critics."

* Another favorite - "Without my job, I wouldn't be me. Without (you and the kids), I would be nothing."

* People really do overuse the phrase "I don't know how you do it" and it can be really annoying

* It's going to be so much harder to have the demanding and unpredictable career when my kids are older and want me to be at specific functions AND are very aware if I am not there AND can use guilt to punish me if I don't make it to them

* It is sometimes difficult to distinguish between a work-life balance that is "too crazy for the short-term but workable long-term" and unmanageable, especially when there are two working parents. And it sucks to ever feel that you are neglecting any part of the partner/kids/work triangle, but how do you know when to draw the line and when to stick it out?

What I really appreciated is what the movie didn't insinuate. It didn't imply that her kids weren't well-taken care of, it didn't imply that she wasn't completely devoted to her kids. It didn't imply that she didn't have a good relationship with her husband, even when things were difficult. And it didn't imply that her hectic schedule and frazzled exterior made her any less valuable or capable than her co-workers.

I don't know where I'll be career-wise in 5 or 10 years, or even next year for that matter. It seems that the best I can hope for is to have a job that I enjoy and have enough quality time with my family so that they know I love them more than anything.