Passing Time

It's still August, month of many vacations. The market is a wreck, so any deals that were in the works are "pencils down" as far as I can tell. With just over three weeks left before going on maternity leave (I think), it's not feasible for me to take on most of the projects that are emailed around to junior associates (i.e. prep for this pro bono case with a hearing end of September).

So every day, I come into the office. Some days I'll be "busy." Most days I am bored. And the thing is, I don't really want to be super busy. It would be nice to be distracted and for time to pass more quickly, but I'm tired and uncomfortable and just not at the top of my game. This, I'm noticing, is the biggest difference between this pregnancy and last.

Last time, I couldn't wait to meet my baby. I hated being pregnant and cursed the physical condition every waking hour. I wished with every ounce of my being that I would go into labor at 38 weeks. Every spare minute I had was spent planning out something for the new baby.

This time, I still hate being pregnant. BUT, I can definitely wait to meet the new baby. The excitement I have about holding her is tempered by the realization that I can enjoy sleep and as much Timmy time as I want right now. This time, I get the same amount of post-birth time off no matter when she is born, so I kind of want to take advantage of the time I plan on being home before the baby arrives to rest, soak up time with Timmy and PJO and take care of some to-dos.

I may very well be bored on maternity leave pre-baby, but at least I can take a nap or go for a walk without my blackberry and a fear of missing The Call from The Partner.

Once I actually typed all of this out, I realized how whiney I sound. I don't intend this to complain...I actually am very content with most aspects of my life right now, just a little bit bored on weekdays.