Suddenly, drop-off at daycare has become a struggle, with him clinging to me and whining that he wants to go back to Mommy's car. It's not always crying/whining either. Over the past two weeks, bedtime has stretched into a two and a half hour phenomenon. Some nights, he'll walk out of his bedroom 12 times after we leave, each time with a smile on his face, and each time asking to snuggle with either Mommy or Daddy. It would be easier to ignore his crying than to turn down his polite requests for snuggles or playing.
I vacillate between wanting to give him extra snuggles now to reassure him that I'm still very much here and present for him and wanting to break the Mommy-addiction before I actually am torn by the demands on my time.
90% of the time, he is the same sweet and funny boy as before. He loves to snuggle, and sing songs and tell jokes and read stories. He gives amazing hugs and kisses. He is turning into a full-fledged little boy that suddenly can count to 25, point out the continents on a map, put together real puzzles and ride a tricycle. I think he'll be a great big brother and I am pretty sure he'll actually be excited about the new baby when she's here. But for right now, I just feel a twinge of sadness that her arrival might stress him out or make him worry that I won't love him as much as I did before. I know that toddler feelings aren't always rational, but I'm not sure how to ease out of this transitional phase.
Because of ridiculous California laws (and my firm's policy to match my regular salary during "disability" time off pre-labor), I'm planning on going on maternity leave a few weeks before my due date. I have big plans for my time with Timmy for these last few weeks with him as my one and only. And I'm looking forward to maternity leave much more for the extra time with him than for the time with a newborn. When all is said and done, I'll have about 5 months off work to enjoy leisurely mornings and real family dinners. To pick him up early from school some days and go the duck park. To have family time on weekends uninterrupted by my blackberry.
At the same time that I feel the pressure from Timmy, Baby Airplane has her own set of demands on my attention. I'm already getting to the point where I'm just uncomfortable most of the time, and I still have two months to go! Rolling over to the other side in bed at night is more of a 3-part maneuver. Sitting for too long makes me feel cramped and stiff, standing for too long makes my back ache. Carrying my 35 pound toddler is just...owww. I find myself taking tums every day for heartburn and can feel her pounding against my hips, spreading them wider and making room for herself. A nasty looking varicose vein is appearing on my right thigh. Pregnancy is gross...I wish it were feasible to grow a baby in a petri dish.
I finally got around to taking a picture of the belly, to prove that I look so much bigger this time.
Me at 6 months last time:
Me at 6.5 months this time:
3 comments:
It must be worse because you're a naturally thin person! Less weight to balance out the preggo belly! I ran into a friend yesterday who's due the same time as me, and her belly is definitely much bigger. I think it's just more noticeable because she's thin, though.
I feel you on the pregnancy pains though, dear god, I can't believe I could still have 11 more weeks of this. My pelvis actually makes a popping noise accompanied with pain when I roll over to my other side in bed. That just cannot be right. Pregnancy sucks.
But I have a fabulous idea I intend to patent re. reproduction:
Step 1: Rompy pompy results in pregnancy.
Step 2: Embryo painlessly removed from uterus and implanted in artificial uterus at Baby Farm. Celebrate great success with lots of wine.
Step 3: Spend 9 months visiting fetus at Baby Farm: singing to it, talking to it, all while enjoying a picnic lunch, lots of wine and prescription allergy medications, and wearing normal size clothing. The only vomiting that will occur is from too much wine. There are no stretch marks, no varicose veins, no hypertension, no cankles, no ugly maternity clothes, and absolutely, positively nothing bad happening to one's girl parts.
Step 4: Baby hatches from artificial uterus, goo is cleaned off, and Baby is delivered to your home in a cute outfit of your choice.
Step 5: Artificial boobs with artificial milk are also delivered to house along with Baby.
Step 6: Maternity leave is spent snuggling with Baby, while being well-rested and not while recovering to major trauma to one's body while also being the food source for said Baby.
Sigh. I'd have a dozen kids if only that were the reproductive process. I still can't believe I voluntarily did this again. And in the middle of summer!
Proto: please make it so and I will have another kid.
You look great. I hear you on the clingy toddler -- K was like that the first month or so after the baby was born, and it got old quickly, but I tried to indulge him. It passed. (It's very cute that he walks out and politely requests snuggles, though.)
Proto...put that in a book and call it Utopia!
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