Today, out of nowhere, a partner who works three doors down from me knocked on my door and gave me two tickets to Rock of Ages for tomorrow night that he can no longer use. The normal procedure in our office is for partners (usually) to send an email out to the office offering their un-usable tickets to the first person who responds, so I was feeling pretty lucky. Our babysitter is going to stay late tomorrow and PJO is going to meet me after work in Hollywood for the show! Thursday night date night, free of charge!
Then as I was heading home, stuck in
horrible the usual traffic, I realized that I was not going to make it home by the time my babysitter had to leave for another commitment. Since this is the first time she ever has asked to change her schedule at all (by leaving 45 minutes early), I decided I could not be late. So I called my neighbor who lives on the first floor of my building. The neighbor who told me that if I ever needed a favor, ever needed her to pick up Timmy from daycare or bring dinner over or whatever, to call her. I haven't needed to until now, and it was a little bit awkward to call someone asking to watch my kid when I haven't even seen them in 4 months. Of course, she happily agreed to help. She fed him dinner and cleaned up after his messy eating habits. Disaster averted.
Tonight I feel so lucky to work with the people I work with and have the friends I do. But I also strongly dislike feeling like I owe people something, especially when I know I'll never actually be able to pay it back (like a partner who would never accept an offer to buy him lunch, or a friend who never needs a babysitter). The friend who watched Timmy tonight used to offer to watch him when I stayed home, telling me that "it was easier for her to watch her son if he had playdates" so I should bring him over and go run errands or do what I needed to do. She would never accept, and never expected, me to do the same favor for her or payment. She commented one time how only her Korean friends would ever take her up on her offer, while her Caucasian friends felt like they were imposing too much to accept it. I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly am hesitant to take favors when it's not an equally giving and receiving relationship. It just doesn't seem fair to benefit from someone without giving anything back in return.
But tonight, I'm just grateful. And I hope someone out there thinks I am generous with my favors because then I can tell myself I'm paying it back.
2 comments:
Not a one way street, mama. I'm sure you'll (at some point if you haven't already) do rockstar work for that partner; and while you may never rescue THAT friend with a favor, you've rescued others (hello! remember your days with my sweet girl when I needed backup childcare?!!). so, you've paid it forward! xoxo
AB
You don't necessarily have to return favors, but you can always do something nice in return. You know, you work for that partner, offer extra help when he looks stressed. Heck, nominate him for some local bar association "awesome attorney" award. You could invite your neighbor over for dinner one night as a "thank you" for the save. Or even just a nice thank you card to either of them for their thoughtfulness. And you never know, in the future they might need you to repay their kindness in some way.
I have friends who are waaaaaay out of our income bracket (and a few family members too), so coming up with "thank-yous" always have to be creative!
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