It's been close to a week since I finished final exams. Ever since I knew that my final exams ended 15 days before my due date, I had been preparing for the grumpiness if I was pregnant after exams were done. The combination of hating pregnancy and only having a month off of school made me want to have the baby as soon as possible. Everyone told me to enjoy the last few weeks of it just being the two of us (PJO and me that is) and reminded me that it is easier to take care of a baby when it's inside your belly than out. I really didn't even think that was possible.
Obviously there isn't too much you can do to control when labor starts. I don't believe any of those "natural induction methods" actually work, so I haven't done any. Surprisingly, I am completely at peace with still being pregnant and waiting for this baby to come. No one is more surprised than I am at my new-found patience.
It might have something to do with my large to-do list. While PJO's at work, I have been running errands, addressing Christmas cards, buying Christmas gifts, paying bills, fixing things around the house and of course putting finishing touches on the nursery. It also undoubtedly can be attributed to my realization that things really will change a lot when the baby is born. Yesterday, I took full advantage of cuddling on the couch with my cats and watching a movie. Even a "bad" night of sleep seems like a pretty good deal because it's not like I'm waking up every 2 hours. PJO and I plan on enjoying a few dinner dates and a movie or two this week. I am soaking up every minute we're spending together.
I know we'll always be the same two people that fell in love years ago and I'm sure we'll love every minute of our life as a growing family, but I'm starting to feel a little nostalgic for our days of being newlyweds. I always appreciate things the most at the moment when I realize that they will be gone ... but before I can feel sad, I remember what that phase of our life will be replaced with and pure happiness washes over me. I am so excited to finally meet this baby boy and bring him home to start our life together.
Sometimes I think about the fact that every day I remain pregnant is another day I'm basically giving up from my post-baby recovery time. If anything, that's what can make me feel impatient to have him. Spring semester starts in about 3.5 weeks and that doesn't seem like enough time for all the changes that will be taking place.
I also thought the possibility of having the baby on Christmas or New Year's Eve would make me a little crazy but I really don't care about that any more. No matter what, his birthday will be during the holiday season and his birthday will be celebrated along with those holidays, for better or for worse.
Before any of this can stress me out or make me desperate to have a baby already, I remind myself that I have been so lucky this whole pregnancy and that my son's life is so much bigger and more important than any of these details. Regardless of how much time I have off, school will be fine. I know I'll graduate, and 4 hours of class 3 days a week isn't that big of a deal. Worst case, if I have to take some time off at the beginning of the semester, I can do that.
And I really have been lucky with this pregnancy, why should I start doubting God's timing now? As much as I complain, I never had to deal with morning sickness, swelling, complications or pre-labor symptoms and I have been able to do everything I normally do. We got pregnant the first time we tried and the timing allowed me to take finals in the spring before I felt too tired, work this summer without showing and finish a semester of school this fall without any pregnancy drama.
Tomorrow I have my last doctor's appointment before my due date. I think they'll finally check to see if I am dilated or effaced at all. I haven't had a single sign of labor, so I wouldn't be surprised if there's nothing to report. And that's ok. I'll be happy if Uno decides to come a little early, but I'll be happier if we're both healthy after a complication-free labor.
2 comments:
Good for you and your patience! I wonder what my state of mind would have been had I made it past 35 weeks. I'm not sure I'd be as "at peace" with the situation as you seem to be :)
I was OK until week 38. Then I started getting loopy ... there's only so many times you can fold and re-fold burp cloths. And then my son was born on his due date and still somehow I was unprepared.
Hang in there!
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