The Flip Side

My work-life balance did a complete 180 in July. As in I billed 85 hours for the entire month. It was wonderful. I didn't even bring my computer home most nights. I didn't check my blackberry on weekends. I worked out in the morning and ate breakfast at home with my kids. I left by 4 or 4:30 every day and had time to run errands or play with my kids at night. I took lunches during the day instead of eating at my desk. I went to mid-day appointments without worry. I slept. Life was good and I didn't even miss having work to do very much. Like clockwork, August 1st I was back to billing normal hours. I have work to do at night and on weekends. The timing, of course, is terrible because PJO is in Tennessee for 4 days for a wedding, so I'm also on my own with both kids and trying to squeeze in work wherever I can. And this, I think, is a text book example of "peaks and valleys" when people talk about work-flow at a law firm. It isn't always terrible, but it sure as hell is unpredictable. And never being able to plan anything in advance wears on you after a while. There are so many benefits to working at a firm. One that people always talk about is flexibility, especially to be able to work from home or to leave for appointments or school events during the day and make up that time at night. I'm pretty sure that "flexibility" wouldn't be necessary if you could reliably plan a day (sick, vacation, whatever) where you could be out of the office and no one would bother you with work stuff. And no matter what anyone tells me, I refuse to feel grateful for the fact that I often work from home at night after my kids go to bed. Sure, I'd rather work in my PJs at home than at the office, but more than that, I'd rather not work at night. Period. I really do like many aspects of working at a big firm, namely the quality of the clients/work, the ability to work with and for many different people and not have one "Boss" and, of course, the salary. But none of that is worth the years this job is taking off of my life and the precious time I should be spending with my kids while they're little. I have no idea what's next for me or when, although I'm pretty sure I'll stay put for at least a year. I think I need a guidance counselor and maybe a life coach.