Moving from the sidelines to the field

One of Timmy's quirks is a variety of independence. I wouldn't say he's a "fiercely independent" toddler in all respects, but he sure doesn't want to do something just because he is told to. A lot of times, this plays out in the refusal to participate in activities designed for kids to have fun. For example, "circle time" or any organized game that involves listening to directions and following the herd. Sometimes, I am convinced that he runs away when the other kids dutifully dance around in a circle just to spite me. (This has to be at least partly true, because I am told he follows directions and participates in circle time at school). But then sometimes I see him assess the situation, look at the other kids enjoying themselves, and decide he would rather do something different. These times remind me that he is indeed my child, acting much like I acted throughout childhood and sometimes still act.

Easter was a good example of the latter. My friends (I lovingly refer to them as my "mom friends") put on a little egg hunt for our kids. While they were all lining up at the gate, breathless with anticipation to be let in the park and retrieve as many eggs as they could fit in their baskets, Timmy was crying and trying to go back home to see what was taking Daddy so long to get to the park. When he finally stepped in to the field of pastel-colored landmines, he would gingerly step over each one as he tried to survey the situation. When I convinced him to take the plastic egg I handed him and promised that he would like what was inside, shaking it to illustrate, he promptly snatched it from my grasp, opened it up and his face lit up at the sight of candy. (How do they know certain wrappers mean candy?) Instead of trying to gather more eggs to maximize his candy yield, he hightailed it over to a bench so he could eat his candy in peace. I thought for a minute he just didn't get the concept at all.

But he seemed happy munching on some chocolate, watching his friends sprint to all corners of the park, dumping eggs into their little toddler-sized baskets. When his friends were getting frustrated that the only eggs left were well-hidden, he inspected the bubbles he had been given by the "Easter bunny." Then, when the eggs were all picked up and the floor bare, he casually walked around, scooping up eggs from the now-ignored baskets and inspected the contents of every one. Upon encountering a cookie or fun toy, he ran over to give it to me for safe-keeping. Something less desirable he would put back into the egg and place the egg back in the basket, as if it never happened.

I have to say, it's not traditional, but I love his strategy. I'll have to tell him that it won't work as well when he hunts for easter eggs with the bigger kids. But gosh, toddlers are cute.