Size Matters

Corporette has a post today about "appropriate" engagement ring size and since I'm bored at work, I actually read the comments. The topic seemed timely to me because several work friends have gotten engaged in the past few weeks and there has been a lot of lunch-time discussion about diamond rings. Even though I've been married only three and a half years, I feel far removed from the engagement stage. Being happily married with a family, it's hard for me to remember ever caring so much about a piece of jewelery as some of these commenters seem to.

I personally had no input on the ring I received. In fact, PJO bought the ring long before he proposed and I was completely shocked when he asked me. Luckily, he has good taste. It's a very simple, classic design. Round cut solitaire in a thin, platinum setting. Not small, but not too big. I love it. Because the prongs stick out kind of far, I thought a straight wedding band would look silly next to it because there was a gap showing too much finger for my taste. The band I picked out was an infinity design of small, pave diamonds set in platinum, where the prongs would fit perfectly into a groove in the infinity design.

I love that my band is unique and makes my simple engagement ring look interesting. I love that my husband put so much thought and care into picking out a ring that would be a "forever" ring. But...sometimes, I wish I could just wear a plain, solid band instead. The engagement ring sometimes gets in the way and the band has so many nooks and crannies that I'm always nervous it will get too dirty. I take both off every night and whenever I put on lotion or sunscreen. How simple would it be to just wear a plain, solid band and not worry about it?

Engagement rings are just another example of how sometimes you just need to go through something before realizing how important (or not) it really is. The wedding industry tells bride and grooms-to-be that they better make their wedding the best they can afford because they only get one and it is the best day of your life. The diamond industry tells men to spend two months of their salary on a piece of jewelry because she will expect and/or demand it. A great wedding and a pretty diamond are nice, but so unimportant in the big scheme of things. The wedding is one day, the ring can be taken off, but you'll be with your partner the rest of your life. Very little focus is placed on that as far as I can tell (except by older relatives, in my experience).

For the record, I have no regrets about my wedding and I wouldn't change a thing if I could go back in time and pick a different ring. My only point (if I have one), is that I can't believe how much people stress themselves out over planning "the perfect" wedding or shopping for "THE" ring. And I find it so sad that women judge others' engagement rings. I know of people who's parents were still paying off the wedding after they'd divorced. Sometimes I just wish things were as simple today as they were generations ago.