Learning Process

The last few weeks were busy for me. I'm settling in to my job and trying to figure out the new normal. So far, things have been a little hectic but manageable. Despite billing relatively low hours, I've worked every weekend since I've started; sometimes just 3 hours on a Saturday from home, sometimes 30 hours in the office like this past weekend. I've worked several late nights but I've also left at 4:30pm occasionally. I know this rollercoaster is the norm for a lot of junior associates at a big firm, but I feel like it's exacerbated by the fact that we do not start in a department at my firm.

Until you departmentalize as a third year, associates in my office are free (and expected) to take work from any and all departments. If you want to try a little bit of everything to see what you enjoy, that's encouraged. If you already know that you are 100% a litigator, that's ok too. But essentially, it's up to you to reach out to the people you would like to work for and establish relationships. This presents a weird dynamic during the stub year (now until our billable hours start counting in January) because you want to line up enough work to be busy in the new year, but you are also told that you should enjoy this no-pressure time to figure things out and get comfortable. The fact that I asked people for work makes it hard to push back or say no when they give me something to do a few days later that requires work at night or on a weekend. And since I have nothing else to do, I say, "yes, I would love to help." I prefer being busy and I really don't mind working nights or weekends when the work requires it, but it is annoying to sit in an office doing nothing all day and then bill like crazy when you thought you would be at home. There is also, somewhere in the back of my mind, the awareness that if I get staffed on a busy deal now, it could ruin my holiday plans with my family and I'm just not ready for that yet. I'm hopeful that everything will even out soon.

Right about when work started getting busy two weeks ago, Timmy had another episode of ridiculously high fevers. Just six weeks after the last bout, he woke up with a fever of 105.4. And just like last time, it lasted three days and then disappeared. It was horrible to see him feeling so shitty and not be around to comfort him all day. Luckily, PJO was able to take a sick day to stay home with him that Monday and my mom was sweet enough to come up and take care of him Tuesday, so I didn't have to take time off. Taking time off work when my kid is sick is another thing that I think is totally acceptable generally but it's a little harder to justify when you're brand new.

My reward to myself for working so much during the last week is to "work from home" tomorrow and then enjoy my days off Thursday and Friday at home with my family. It's amazing how a few days away from my almost-2 year old make it seem like I've been gone for weeks. I swear, he's 6 inches taller, talking more and doing more than he was last Friday. My plan is to bake my pies tomorrow and do as much prep work as I can, then cook Thanksgiving morning with the parade on in the background. Timmy is going to go bananas over the holidays this year, I can't wait!