Everyone's got one, and they all stink. I realize that all I post about lately is complaining, specifically about the crap going on as I try to study for the Bar. I'm going to make an effort to stop whining about it, but first I am venting to all of you people.
By now, you know that my baby started refusing to take a bottle right when law school ended, so the first month of studying, my days were segmented in 3 hour chunks. It was getting better, REALLY getting better. As of last week, he was drinking breastmilk from a sippy cup on his own at every meal during the day, and he was even eating up the solid food we gave him (peas, blueberries and zucchini were decimated).
On Monday, I noticed to my horror that it seemed like my milk supply was drying up. That morning I was only able to get 3 ounces instead of 6 when I pumped. So I began freaking out that my baby who refuses to drink if there is a drop of formula was going to starve (or you know, drop down onto the growth chart). I promptly cut out caffeine, alcohol and reinstituted my morning oatmeal, doubled my water intake and started taking Mother's Milk Tea and Fenugreek capsules, as well as pumping an extra time at night.
This same day, PJO left work early because he was sick. He proceeded to puke all night and slept off a fever. I knew trouble was coming.
Yesterday, Timmy was congested all day, and I was constantly suctioning out his nose. I started to feel sick too.
Fast forward to today. I am completely overwhelmed by the sinus pressure and general shittiness I'm feeling. Timmy is probably worse. Neither of us slept last night. I can't take the medicine I really want to take in order to knock this out, and was reluctant to take even the sudafed at first because of it impacting my newly restored milk supply.
I could handle all of this if I wasn't 12 days out from the Bar Exam, or if I hadn't been planning on really studying these past few days to make up for slacking. But right now, all of my energy is going to making us all healthy. Timmy has his mattress elevated, a humidifier going, baby vick's vapor rub on his chest, a bulb syringe nearby and affectionate hugs (but not tooo close).
I've been using the neti pot constantly, gargling salt water and taking sudafed, drinking Breathe Easy tea, etc...
I really want to just cozy up on the couch with my Crimes flashcards and outline some practice essays or go through MBE questions, but instead I'm wiping snot off my germy baby and myself, eyes and throat burning, head pounding.
I don't let myself think about the possibility of not passing the Bar. But as the countdown of study days gets near single digits, I'm starting to really worry about my lack of preparedness.
The end.
4 comments:
Longtime lurker, recently retired-from-nursing mother, and I would love to offer you some kind of words of wisdom. I have none. So, this is a lame comment, except to say I've been there, baby, and it ain't easy. My supply went up and down like crazy during the whole 13 months I nursed - I went back to work at 6 weeks and my relationship with Mr. Ameda Double Barrelled Milking Machine was, shall we say, a bit touchy. Sometimes The Girls liked him and gave up the liquid gold - sometimes they turned up their noses and I sat there crying in my funnel things, wondering how we were going to afford formula after throwing down the equivalent of a month's grocery bill on this damn machine that I hate hate hate hate hate.
The things we do for darling little sons.
(Insert perky cheerleader comment here about you're doing great and you'll pass the bar no problem and go you!)
Good luck. :)
PS I found you on the MILP roundup blogrolls, I'm about to start lawschool myself.
i'm studying for the bar in texas and i have a 6 month old. can't imagine going through what you are right now, i actually had a dream/nightmare last night that my baby and i got sick a few days before the exam and woke up in a panic. i was going to advise you to use a neti pot, since that always works well for me, but it looks like you already are. i hope you feel better asap!
Oh no! Any one of those things by itself would be stressful enough, but with all of them together I can't blame you for complaining. Good luck -- try to get lots of sleep!
I'm studying for the GA bar and have a 10 month old and getting sick at this point is one of my nightmares. And I mean, actually wake up at night worried about it nightmare. That along with not having my laptop work for the essays and then writing in blue (instead of black) ink and not skipping lines in the blue book!
Studying sucks, but you've put in the time in law school and you'll be able to make it through this too.
I hope you guys get feeling better soon!
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