Last Day of Work

Friday was my last day as a summer associate. I can't believe it is already over! (well, I still have two more firm dinners this week, so it's still sort of persisting). It was a great day that went by way too fast. I had some work to finish up, a lot of good-byes to say, a 2-hour lunch with my favorite people and a Corporate department happy hour. The day was made a million times better because I also got my offer to come back full-time next fall! I always kind of knew that I would get it, but I had no idea it would happen that day, and it definitely gave me peace of mind knowing that I had it. I accepted it on the spot, as did most of the other people that received offers that day. I knew that I was going to accept and I figured, what the hell, let's just go for it!

Looking back on the summer, I can summarize my experience and formulate some advice for anyone who might be going through it in the future:
1. Always remember that you are in a 12-week long interview: once you are in the office, people know you are smart enough to be there, so don't spit out your resume whenever someone asks you a question; but you should always be on your best behavior, do your best work and try to make intelligent conversation when you're talking with attorneys
2. Let your (real) personality shine through, unless it sucks: I really think these people want to know that they'll enjoy spending time with you. Everyone knows you work a lot at a big law firm, so you might as well pass the time with someone you can stand, or even enjoy being with. If you're too focused on work or presenting a certain image of yourself, you'll never be relaxed enough to just be yourself and have fun.
3. Be mature: this one was as easy as it will ever be for me since I was pregnant. There is alcohol--lots of it--everywhere you go. The people who had problems this summer drank too much of it, reminiscent of college, and acted stupid. This is one of those things where you definitely have to know your audience and adjust accordingly, but I think you should always be the one drinking the least at your table. I found that as the summer went on, it was less and less awkward when I didn't order alcohol, I could carry on conversations with everyone comfortably and I always felt in control of myself. While I would have killed for some of those drinks at dinners, I am very glad I had this experience... it showed me that I can have fun and be a better guest when I drink much less, and it doesn't necessarily make me lame or boring to not drink alcohol. People judge you based on how you act, not what you drink (and if they judge you for not drinking, that's the wrong person to try and impress anyway).

Overall, I think it wasn't too bad to be a summer associate and pregnant at the same time. It sucks to not be able to do everything that everyone else does, to have to skip all the free alcohol and to be tired. But at the same time, it kept me more in control and more focused on getting the offer, which is what we're there for in the end. Of course, I never told work that I was pregnant. I will tell them once we tell PJO's parents, which is when we tell everyone who doesn't know. I think that will be ok, but I am curious as to what they will say and who will react positively.

The day before my last day, there was a Women's committee meeting. It was a panel discussion where we heard about the firm's policies that benefit women and what role the committee plays in the firm. Then each member on the panel presented a few pieces of advice for success and fielded questions. The first woman who spoke was a third year finance associate with a 14 month old. She got married her first year and then became pregnant almost right away. Her husband is also an attorney at the firm. It was good hearing her speak about how they managed, but I couldn't ask her the questions I really wanted to: what child care did she use, what happened when they both had to work late, does she feel like she's at a disadvantage with her career? Everyone else had good generic advice, but none of them were anywhere close to the point I am at in my life: 2 of the other 5 panelists were married, the rest were single. None of the others had children. They were talking about balancing dating with work, and "proving yourself" the first two years before pushing back at all. I realized that my support group will have to come from outside the firm. I have felt a lot of comfort reading the blogs of some of you, other moms in law school or the legal profession. It's not so much that I want someone to answer all my questions whenever I have them, I just want to know that I'm not the only one who is crazy enough to do this. It really helps hearing how the mundane, every day stuff works for everyone else, because that's what you really want to know about when you're undertaking something new: how it will impact your LIFE (every part of it, including the boring parts). The panelists did make me glad that I am at where I am in my life... I would not want to deal with finding and starting a new relationship while working as a big law attorney. I think by starting off a career with boundaries and balancing, people respect them more than if you try establishing those after letting them walk all over you for a few years. I wouldn't change anything about my life right now.